There may be many different opinions when discussing long distance relationships in college on whether they are good or unhealthy for a student in the beginning years of college, and I see this topic having its’ pros and definitely its’ cons. As a first year student at the University of Denver, I can say that the transition is difficult on many levels based on what type of relationships a person may have. I moved from Greeley, CO to Denver, CO, and not only did I leave just a town but I left my family, friends and a girlfriend. People may say that holding onto a long distance relationship could affect my college experiences, opportunities and development as a person. The three reasons for me to not be in a long-distance relationship that I will explain could probably apply to most young adults in a long distance relationship, and yet they continue to keep themselves in this predicament. I am guilty as well.
I am fully aware of the reasons why I should not be in a relationship at this point in my life. First, trying to keep the pulse of a long-distance relationship beating is time consuming enough and ultimately leaves less time for the education I worked twelve years for. Bad habits of having drawn out conversations and developing a text addiction has left a mark in how my first quarter turned out. Once I put my foot down in the second quarter and cut down on my ways, our relationship began to deteriorate communication wise and ironically ate up more of my time than before by trying to rebuild what was lost. I am sure her grades have taken a beating as well, considering the amount of energy that we spent on each other. Second, we are both young individuals on the verge of making decisions that could influence the rest of our lives. Growth is something I am always seeking to achieve, and that is what college is about, finding you as a person. I may have an idea of who I am but then again I have been in a relationship for two years. How do I know that I can even be independent? So satisfying this curiosity would not only benefit me but my girlfriend as well. This brings up my third reason why I (we) should not be in a relationship. My girlfriend is not in college yet, and as a senior in high school it has been difficult for her to empathize what my new found busy college life is like. She is losing time with each day that passes by to decide what she would like to do post graduation, and it is unsettling to know that I may be a factor in her decisions. I believe that her having the independence and confidence in her decision making without me in picture is essential for her in this stage of her life. These anti-relationship reasons are not just for me, for I care about her future more than I do our own relationship.
Why do so many of us push aside these reasons to continue what could ultimately become an injustice to our futures? I (as well as my family) have come to terms with the fact that this relationship is not the logical route for me to take many, many, many times, but it is like the cliché saying, “easier said than done”. What is this “thing” that holds couples together? I guess most would say it is love, or perhaps it is even the fear of breaking up and having to face future regrets of what could have been. Being in love is not meant for the youth, for how could we be capable of finding and identifying what we have been looking for our whole lives when most of us are not even old enough to drink? There are exceptions though and in all honesty I feel that my relationship is an exception at times… but so do most young adult couples.
I do not want to miss out on this golden opportunity to have a great and fulfilling college experience without having to stress out about a relationship with someone that lives in another city. However, just attempting to figure out how to accomplish this has been a challenge. There are several reasons to discontinue this relationship, but is being able to confidently say “I love you” to your girlfriend or boyfriend a good enough reason to stay together and face more challenges? I suppose this question is the reason that I am split between love and logic.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I love your logical analysis of banlancing whether to keep on a relationship or not. You look so rational than emotional. I totally agree with what you said about the energy as well as the time the young may waste on the long distance relaitonship. Actually, for the College people, we do have more things to do instead of having relationship. Like Amy said that we are supposed to achieve individual goals and grow to become an independent person.
ReplyDeleteAdditionally, when you talked about the possible different futures of the girl and you, which is one of the reason you gave up the relationship, I would say you are a responsible man, a man can make a decision to minimize the pain for both of you. You care about your family, and you are considerable.
Finally, you mention the Love. I would say, that love should be the spirit that could help us grow maturer instead of stopping us moving forward. However, whether to keep in a relationship still depends on different person and situations because we always need right person as well as right time.
Good luck with you college !
Although I had a hard time identifying the main argument in the article, as a reader I appreciated the author's honesty and stories. By sharing such personal information, the author made a rather convincing appeal to ethos. The author can reach a wide audience because they come off as down to earth and completely human. Combined with ethos, I thought the author’s pathetic appeals have the ability to reach into the hearts of readers and endear them to the argument. Mentioning respect and love are universal commonplaces, and I feel they resonate true with the audience. I did, however, have trouble understanding the persuasive purpose of the article. Reading it, I clearly understood the author’s personal conflict and saw the author’s internal discourse, but I had trouble following the connection from the author’s personal experiences and thoughts to his persuasive topic. If I have one recommendation, it is for the author to try and state the argument more explicitly because the support is already there.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this project of writing about long-distance relationships for many reasons: I was able to take an outsiders perspective on my situation, it gave me a chance to think about this logically to be written down, and it has personally helped me with how to handle these situations in the future. I also hope I have given some assistance to some who are going through or plan to go through a long-distance relationship. As far as appeals, I thought my post used kairos well for it is a predicament many college students are in to this day, and it will continue. Also I believe I have an appeal of ethos/pathos? In my post, due to my perspective from both sides of the argument and my experience being in this situation, however I believe that I can clear up what my argument is for persuasiveness.
ReplyDeleteThanks, James, for your reflection here on the dilemnas that young people face when they attempt to transtion to college, but still maintain a close relationship with a loved one back home. I would agree a bit with Ryan, in that the strength of your piece is its personal tone, its almost meditative quality. You demonstrate your personal experience here in thoughtful ways. What I'd like to see you work on as you revise, though, is branching out from this personal story and engage your readers (your peers at DU, for example) and use your experience to make more of an argument. In a way, you might find it helpful to shift from your use of "we" to a more direct appeal to "you." That is, what would you advise your peers to do? Or what would you advise senions in high school (say in Greeley) about what they should do, think about, or consider as they prepare for the transition that you've been making in the past months? Addressing them specifically might help you bridge the personal reflection to a more persuasive argument.
ReplyDelete